He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Hold Music Hell

(Quicktime is required for this one - download the filename below and open it up in Quicktime Player)

I had a somewhat bad experience on hold today - and probably discovered the most subtly annoying hold recording yet - have a listen.

The key points from this hold recording:

1) Please go away, stop bugging us and go to our web-site instead, where you'll be promptly ignored.
2) We're short-staffed, please stop bugging us and go to our web-site and apply for a job with us.
3) We pride ourselves on a high level of customer service - you just called us at a bad time. Why not go to our website instead?
4) Our phone lines are open between and , but why not go to our website and contact us there? If you must be a total pain in the arse and actually want to speak to a person, hold away.... you'll be there a long time.

All nicely spoken by two people who barrage you with information relentlessly until your head explodes. Nice.

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