He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Barrels Of Fun

Someone said to me today that they were not a barrel of fun - what a great shame that was. To right this wrong, I decided to investigate what a barrel of fun contained that made it so good, thus allowing me to perform great feats of healing in the name of science. I left no stone unturned and by using the power of a million internets, you can now see my professionally drawn representation:

Key features:

1) The barrel contains monkeys. Monkeys are always fun, even when they are being mischievous - look at the P.G. Tips monkeys. You can't argue with the fun they're having.

2) The barrel contains Jaffa Cakes. Jaffa Cakes are fun, because they're called cakes, but they don't actually look like cakes - like a wolf in cakes clothing. The ones in this pack are orange flavoured, a precautionary measure to ensure that the monkeys don't eat them - this would not be fun and there would be tears before bedtime.

3) The barrel contains helium balloons - not just balloons, but ones that fly up into the air and make your voice all squeaky - these are the pinnacle of fun.

Of course, I only investigate such science topics that Mr Hawking et al cannot investigate due to their requirement to research useless and low-key topics such as the time-space continuum and black holes. It's a travesty, it really is.

Disclaimer: Your experience of fun may vary. Your personal fun settings may require differing quantities of monkeys, helium and Jaffa Cakes. Never leave a monkey in a sealed barrel on a hot day. Remember, a helium balloon is for life, not just for Christmas.
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