He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Useless Television Programs

Top of the pathetic TV program stakes tonight had to be "Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes". For non-UK readers, here's a breakdown.

If you can't be arsed to click, here's a synopsis - The program is pure unadulterated bilge. A c-list star gets to dress vaguely similar to an a-list song star they're trying to impersonate. The similarity is usually only vague in appearance, singing is atrocious and not in the style of who they're trying to mimic. It also follows a format that should have been long gone before the dinosaurs were made extinct. Cat Deeley doesn't do much for it either. At least Matthew Kelly had vague comedy value. To make the torture worse, they spin it out with numerous commerical breaks. All I can say is, hurrah for the BBC.

ITV must be busy pulling all those splinters out of their fingers from their recent barrel-scraping sessions. In addition to the celebrity chefs, celebrity wrestlers and celebrity jungle survival experts they've created, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how the boffins at ITVs "ideas" department work.

Before you state the obvious, no, I wasn't held at gunpoint to watch it, but I was present in somebody else's house - so it would have been extremely rude for me to shout out, "this is shit, change channels".

I also do not have a television. This reminds me why I do not have one. My decision to get rid of it was the best New Years Resolution I ever made.
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