dalliard.net

He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

mrdalliard's mixed-metaphor meal menu

The internet has a lot to answer for. With all this communication stuff going on, the world really has got a bit small - if you’ll pardon the cliché. We can now share videos of trampolining foxes and stoats having fits in seconds with our distant “loved-ones”. Miraculous, eh? Thanks boffins!

Of course, it’s not just communication that’s benefited from all this internet stuff - it’s food. If you compared the contents of your fridge to what you had in there thirty years ago, you’d probably notice that it’s got a bit more of an international flavour. Indeed, as I sit on my Japanese futon, drink Italian cappuccino and eat Russian blini*, I’ve had a moment of realisation - food is just going to get more boring. We’ve probably discovered just about everything. There’s nothing new left to discover, is there?

To illustrate my point, think about curry. I had my first curry at the age of six - thirty-ish years ago. At this point, it was something new and exciting. Nowadays, I’m eating the damn stuff all the time and it’s become the norm. It’s the British national dish. It’s just so easy to become bored with something when you’ve tried it all before. We need something new. New experiences are the basis of what makes life interesting, but unless we have visitors from another world in the near future, I doubt that Earth-cuisine is going to radically change.

But fear not! I think I’ve come up with a short-term solution to this food-boredom dilemma - how about mixing our food-related metaphors?

Think about it, there’s a whole pile of weird names out there. There’s Pigs in blankets, Toad in the Hole, Spotted Dick and Angels/Devils on Horseback. All we need to do is mix the metaphors up and then we’ve got an entirely new menu.

So....
  • Cock in the hole = chicken in batter.
  • Toady dick = sausage-based sponge pudding.
  • Leekie Angel = Scallop/oyster and leek/potato soup.
  • Spotted blankets = Vine fruits in bacon.

I’m sure you could think of more - there’s plenty of possibilities out there.

Don’t mock. All I shall say to you is this - what you scoff at today, you will be scoffing tomorrow.**

*For illustrative purposes only.
** Of course, you may be thinking this was a thinly-vailed attempt to produce innuendo-esque meal names. You’d be right.
Comments