He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Problems with the water works.

As neighbours go, I'm pretty lucky. I have three, all of whom seem to be fairly reasonable people. None of them have any kids (friends know my opinion on children), neither do they have a fetish for late night D.I.Y. or large collections of pneumatic drills in their lofts. They like their peace and quiet, much like myself and they're rarely at home - an added bonus. So, apart from the odd yappie dog there's only one annoyance - I share a septic tank with one neighbour.

Generally, having a septic tank is a good thing. Drainage charges by South West Water are extortionate, so it's a lot cheaper to have one of those than pay the monthly fee for drainage. The only problem is... well, when there's a problem - and that problem is what we experts call, "slow drainage".

I have problems understanding why our septic tank is such an issue. None of us are home much, maybe our septic tank is actually a septic bucket, or a septic thimble?

Obviously it needs sorting out, so the neighbour phones up the local company, who then promptly come along with their sucky-sucky-tanker and proceed to remove everything from it. This usually costs about £100 - and the cost is split between us, which means I have to randomly keep forking out fifty quid every so often.

Do the random demands for fifty quid ever get made when I'm having a good month?

Do they bobbins.

It's always during a financially shit month, when there's a shedload of other issues and this month is no exception. I so need a financial crystal ball. Anybody got one they could lend me?
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