He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Give Blood

A day or so after getting back from my holiday, I had a routine visit to the dentist. Unfortunately, as I've been identified as having a gum disorder I have fairly regular hygienist appointments - usually resulting in a quick scrape and polish to keep everything in check.

But today is not so regular as I find out my hygienist has left and been replaced by Hannibal Lector's wife.

"Hello. Sit in the chair and we'll whip you into shape.".

That's hardly the welcome you want.

And as she worked away, she told me that the advice my previous hygienist had been telling me was wrong, whilst repeatedly stabbing me with metal implements. As she put significant body weight behind each scrape, my mouth hurt.

Jesus, did it hurt.

I'm not the squeamish sort - I can take pain as good as anyone. Having had four fillings done in quick succession without issue is testament to this, but sharp metal things aren't supposed to be jabbed in soft-fleshy things. This results in blood.

"Get yourself home and have a salt-water gargle", she said.

Someone needs to work on their chair-side manner, I think.

Two days later and I'm on painkillers (ibuprofen, yet again). I can't swallow, eat properly or open my jaw. The right hand side of my mouth has swollen up and everything still hurts just as much as the moment she moved my gums around like a blob of pink play-doh.

Update (1/10/07): Went back to see my dentist today, who says that my wisdom tooth has become infected and will need to be removed. It's ironic (and crap) that a hygienist gives you an infection.
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