He didn't get where he is today by stealing somebody else's catchphrase.

Analyse This

Tell me what you think of this one...

So, it all starts with me in a block of flats. The block is still being built, evident by the cranes that are still doing stuff. I've bought one of these flats and for some stupid reason, I've got one on the 40th floor. I've decided to have a wander around, even though the building hasn't been finished. The 40th floor is currently the top floor, although more storeys are being buit. In the flat, the hallway is still a gaping chasm - you can still see the rest of the building site through the (lack of) hallway floor. I am decidedly unimpressed with the whole thing, although funnily enough, the other rooms are actually decorated in 70's style loud brown and red wallpaper.

I decide that as I'm rather naffed off with the room I'm in, I'll hop across the gaping chasm of hallway and go into the kitchen. The kitchen impresses me even less. It's got just two nasty cupboards that aren't finished. There's nothing else. For some reason, the cupboards are on wheels. I wheel them out of the way and the thought of pushing them into the chasm does spring to mind, but I don't.

I leave the crap kitchen and go into the bathroom.

Something isn't right. The carpet feels spongy underfoot, almost marsh-like, so I decide to lift a flap up and have a look at what's underneath. There's earth there and it's very soggy, almost like walking in a paddy-field. The stranger thing is that the bathroom is very long indeed. The final length of the bathroom (there's no loo or sink in here) has the carpet totally removed and it's even wetter down this end - but for some strange reason, there's six asian guys (Indian, I think) sitting in the corner, looking at me.

Slightly unnerved at being watched in such a way, I make my way back out, but through a different door to the one I came in.

At this point, I am hit by a huge tidal wave. It carries me away, destroys most of the flat and as I fall off the edge of the building in the flow of the water, I'm not thinking of my impending doom as I get swept off the top of a very high building, but...

"Well, that's a fucking waste of £75,000"

Analyse that if you can.
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